There is the slight possibility that yesterday I got completely fed up with my job and the complete lack of fulfillment it brings to my life. It is actually not just a fulfillment-less area, it is a fulfillment vacuum; sucking up fulfillment from entirely separate areas of my life. Like I will be all happy and content watching Gilmore Girls reruns at 5:00 on a Thursday and Jason (remember Jason? I liked Jason. I kind of miss him and because Luke was already a character, I feel like there is a hole in the show but this has very little to do with me) anyway so Jason will be being all worked obsessed and I will think “why am I not more into my job” and I will answer myself “because your job is worthless. You spend ½ your time convincing your company not to rip people off and then, when you fail, you spend the rest of your time attempting to not feel immensely guilty about it.” So now, out of no where, I am all upset about my job and I have missed at least 3 lines of witty banter and the fact that I have already seen this episode is no consolation. If my job can suck the fulfillment out of Gilmore Girls, it really really has to go.
So perhaps I decided that I cannot wait for any branch of the government to go through its lengthy hiring process. Perhaps I decided on a whim to apply for a bartending job just to hear someone say they might like to have me in for an interview sometime before my ovaries shrivel up and die with a defeated and pathetic sigh. Perhaps I turned in my resume, got an interview, and was offered a job all in the span of 4 hours. Now that I can throw caution to the wind and just quit; now I am scared.
So here I sit, piddling away my conscience, integrity, time, and youth. I have a back up plan. I have applications in. I am really pretty good to go, so why can’t I just tell my job to suck it and screech out of the parking lot laughing hysterically? I think it is because I still want to fix it. I still want to make this place shape up and do right. I want to make a difference damn it! I am so mad that my motivation has died along side pride in my work. Maybe after lunch I will do something for the good of humanity. Maybe I will be inspired by something outside these walls. Maybe the ultimate good of the world will revel itself to me ant hope will be rekindled in my hart forever. More likely I will over cook my left over Mac & Cheese and burn my mouth causing me to cuss with a lisp for the rest of the day.
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2 comments:
I was doing some random blog searching and came across this wonderful blog you have created.
Just remember the world is not always what we make it out to be and I think we both agree that the world seems to be heading down the tubes. And I really have to agree with George Carlin's line about when people say that he likes to Ask what Tubes. I think it's a mixture of a garbage disposal and bizarre lights because life is an interesting ride and I would rather see it all happen then go down a dark tube where I cannot see what is ahead of me.
But a power failure now and then can be interesting,
Tristan Pipo
Dude. Blog Spam Sucks. Delete their asses!
However, I'm very happy for you, and proud of you in making a difficult decision, and happier still that now I have A Place To Go.
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