Smoking in the Rain

This post is dedicated to Jacob who once (actually more than once) told me that smoking is committing suicide for the lazy and non committal. It is also dedicated to my friend T (who is lazy) and Aarwenn (who is non-committal) who both smoke. (I love you guys)



I am considering going to have a cigarette. Somehow this seems like an important decision.

I might go have a cigarette because I am bored. It is not even 10:30 and I am ready to call it a day. More accurately I am ready to chew my own leg off and escape. Sadly the things keeping me here are stronger than a steal bear trap; I need the money.

I am thinking I might not go have a cigarette because I don't really want one. I don't smoke all that much (6-5 cigarettes a week) and I rarely smoke at all before 5 pm.

Then again, I might go have one because I could get out of the office. If I can't run from the building screaming "Die you money grubbing, capitalist whores!" while simultaneously ripping my Express professional wear off of my body and flipping everyone the bird, the least I can do is stand outside the door blowing smoke into client's faces.

But it might not be worth having a smoke because it is raining outside and I would get wet. Somehow smoking in the rain makes you smell worse and I have a lunch meeting latter today.

On the other hand, a cigarette could really calm me down. Maybe I would come back to my desk merely suicidal rather than homicidal.

Well. I think that settles it. I am going to go stand in the rain and smoke because smoking makes you cool, rebellious, mysterious and thin; and because doing it in the rain makes you seem more depressed and pathetic but if you can master the right glowering stare into space while you stand in the rain, you might fool someone into thinking you aren't just depressed and pathetic but also a little crazy and close to snapping. Everyone knows that inciting glowering, smoking, city people dressed in black while they are smoking is apt to get you a burning butt in the eye. Man I hope someone gives me to opportunity to do that.