It’s Not Over Until The VP Steals Car Your

Every once in a while I look up from my work in a panic. I can just feel the poser police and I know they are coming. I have been working here since May. I am less than one week away from finishing my 90 day probation period and getting a raise. Someone must have found out how incompetent I am by now.
I have spent all morning dividing up almost 400 acres of and belonging to about 25 people. I am deciding who gets to develop what land in what ways. I graduated college about 5 seconds ago. No wonder America has a land planning crisis! What do I know? Sadly I think that most people are like me. I have been trained to do my job as well as anyone is. I went to school, I had an internship and the support people in my office often give me perplexed looks when I ask them to do things for me. I take that as a sign that I at least know bigger words than them. I have some general knowledge about my field and I sometimes get my work returned to me covered in angry little post it notes (their aggressive nature hidden by their pastel colors). I like to think that means even if I did mess up, someone would notice before it became a disaster.
The disaster that is me however, is another story. Somehow no one has noticed that I totally suck at my job. In fact I am told by others (including my boss) that I am good at it. Right. You are just trying to lull me into a false sense of security. I know that as soon brake down and by a WRX I will be fired on the spot; probably before I even drive away from the dealership.
Running full tilt, the VP of our company will dive into the car after I open the door for the first time. All 300 lbs of him will land in my new car and drive away after handing me a pink slip and tossing the confetti he as made out of my pay check in my face. This is a sort of waking nightmare I have every time I am tempted to look at cars online instead of working. Maybe I should just admit that I would feel more secure in my job if I spent more time working (and less time daydreaming/bloging) and that I have a great fear of buying large ticket items.
I once wanted to buy a new car. Nothing fancy, just a normal, sedan. I decided to get a Hyundai. I did a lot of research and finally took my friend whose cousin worked at the dealership with me to buy the car. I signed all the paperwork, got the keys, and drove home. 3 days latter I took it back. Serious buyer’s remorse. I ended up buying a car from my parents.
When that car broke (we don’t need to get into how or why) I was going to get a nicer car. I still planned on getting a used car but something that I would need to make payments on. I did a lot of research. I narrowed it down and went shopping. I even took one on an overnight test ride. At the last minute I bought a station wagon from a friend for $1,000.00.
I was going to buy a house. I got approved for my loan and had an agent. I was looking at houses and even made 2 offers. When it came time to do or die in the negotiating I whimped out, got my earnest money back, and rented a duplex.
Basically I will spend the rest of my life surfing the internet while I’m at work, renting a duplex and driving a car I can honestly say I don’t need comprehensive insurance for.