Love It or Hate It; Here Comes the Bride(s)

I think that when I get married I will do it on a Thursday in October. That way it will catch people off guard. I will throw caution to the wind and get my off season discount on everything. Mainly I am just bitter that every weekend I have in August and September is taken up by someone and their wedding stuff. Whether it is the actual weddings or the bachelorette parties or a party for my parent’s anniversary, everything I am doing for 2 months worth of weekends is wedding related.
It is for this reason that I have come to the following conclusion. There are 3 kinds of women in this world. Those whole live for weddings and those who hate them and the sneaker, bride-zilla types. No one is causally unopinionated about weddings.
Take this quiz to find out what category you (or your girlfriend) fall into
When you get a wedding invitation your response is A) Yippiee! A wedding! B) There goes $100.00 and a perfectly good weekend.
Your decision to attend a wedding is based primarily on A) how close you are to the Bride and/or Groom B) Whether the event is dry, Wine and beer only, or open bar.
You have fun shopping for wedding presents because A) you enjoy the warm glowing feeling you get from giving someone you care about something they will love B) you can make fun of the bad taste of others.
When you are asked to be an attendant in a wedding you feel A) honored B) Obligated
When people get married in a far away place and just come home and have the reception are you A) Disappointed B) Grateful

If you answered mostly As then you love weddings
If you answered mostly Bs you have one more question. . .If you were to get married (or when you did) Would you expect people to get excited, be honored, buy you shit with gladness in their hearts and over all love you enough to love coming to your wedding?
If you answered no then you just pain hate weddings. But if you answered yes then you are a Bride-zilla in the making.
Sadly I must admit that I don’t just hate weddings. I hate that the entire event is an attention fest and I am not the center of it. Even worse is that If I try to make myself the center of it, then I’m a pathetic asshole and while I am comfortable being an asshole I have yet to come to terms with being pathetic. Because of this, I realize that when I do tie the knot, I will be a terrible person. I am a Planner for a living. I am a Virgo and thus a perfectionist. I am cheep and picky. I will be a tornado of hurt feelings and a micro-managing mess. I know this about myself which is why I’m being nice to everyone now. Well, at least I’m not being mean.