It is my strong opinion that if you notice a change in a person’s appearance and you are not prepared to complement them on said change then you should just keep your bleeping mouth shut.
I have been dying my hair red. This is a process. Like 80% of the women in America, my hair has not seen its totally natural state since sometime in the 7th grade so when I decided to dye my hair red I went to the salon and they told me “This will not happen overnight, you will have to get there gradually.” This is because I had previously dyed my naturally light brown hair a pretty dark brown. Then I had my stylist back in T-town fade my natural color at the roots into the darker ends to avoid having to bleach my hair. Anyway, the point is that the first iteration of “red” was still pretty brown. It was so subtle that barely anyone noticed.
The second phase of Project Go Red included some highlights in two different tones. This was much more noticeable but still, when asked to describe the color of my hair, a person would have said it was brown with various red highlights.
So on this third dye job, I went with an all over light auburn red and I have to admit it looks, well, awkward. The highlighted areas turned a bright copper and an almost orange color while the areas that were not highlighted turned the anticipated light auburn red. But then the lower part of my hair, the part that was dyed darker oh so long ago? It came out that dark auburn that looks purplish in some lights. So yeah, overall it is pretty awkward.
But a girl can only dye her hair so often. I don’t need poor coloring AND frizzy damaged hair. My husband does not understand why I do this since he likes my natural color but I would rather be odd than be boring so this is what happens sometimes. I am ok with that.
However, the annoying complaining girl at work I had to quit my lunchtime walks with? One of her annoying traits is a pretty significant lack of tact. I just ran into her in the bathroom and this was our conversation
Annoying office girl (AOG): Is your hair a different color?
Me: Yeah, I have been working up to Red
AOG: Oh, some of it looks kind of orange.
Me: Yeah.
AOG: I liked your darker color better.
Me: I wasn’t really a fan. I wanted something different. I have been dyeing it progressively redder for almost 2 months now.
AOG: Well you can totally tell its red now.
Me: Yeah, a few people have mentioned that but no one has said that they like it.
AOG: It’s cute!
At that point I walked out of the bathroom. So here is the thing. I KNOW my hair looks less than attractive at the moment. If this chick were my best friend and she thought I was super stoked on my new do, then I could see mentioning it but as my acquaintance you should not be bringing up changes in my appearance unless you 1) plan to complement me on it and mean it or 2) Are in a position to offer some help (a service or advice) and you know I will receive it well.
I could even give her some credit for insulting me if that was her intent. The thing that makes her so annoying is that she is absolutely clueless. She probably thinks she has convinced me that she likes my new hair color.
Life would be so much more satisfying if I were allotted one punch to the face per month to dole out free of legal consequences.
Monday, February 23, 2009
Thursday, February 19, 2009
Why all the whining?
Sometime after my last job went down in a fiery ball feeling betrayed by people I thought were my friends, I took a moment to think about how I contributed to that whole situation. Certainly there was a whole lot of crying and upset first and I would have been beyond repair were it not for the support of, well, my support system of family and true friends. But after the pain had subsided and I quit lulling myself to sleep with plans for elaborate revenge plots, I was able to find some time for self reflection and I realized that I had not been discriminating enough in my choice of friends when I had decided to befriend these people. Their actions were, at their root, predicable and I should have seen it coming.
There is a culture of negativity in many offices, especially offices full of women. The women in my last office were a prime example. The primary mode of conversation was complaining. They would complain about how little time they had or how their boyfriend’s ex-wife was annoying or their kids were too messy, their husband too lazy and their neighbors too loud. If someone brought in doughnuts it was an assault on their diet.
I decided that I would not participate in this at my new job. To take it a step further, I would not socialize with those people who do. This has been hard. The first person I became friendly with seemed to have the “complaining” affliction pretty badly. I had to stop our lunchtime walks because of it.
My guess is that there are others like me who would rather focus on things that are going right or at least improving. What is it about placing women in cubicles that turns them into little whining machines? This seems to apply much more prevalently to women than to men. Is it the office culture of America in general or is this just a government thing?
There is a culture of negativity in many offices, especially offices full of women. The women in my last office were a prime example. The primary mode of conversation was complaining. They would complain about how little time they had or how their boyfriend’s ex-wife was annoying or their kids were too messy, their husband too lazy and their neighbors too loud. If someone brought in doughnuts it was an assault on their diet.
I decided that I would not participate in this at my new job. To take it a step further, I would not socialize with those people who do. This has been hard. The first person I became friendly with seemed to have the “complaining” affliction pretty badly. I had to stop our lunchtime walks because of it.
My guess is that there are others like me who would rather focus on things that are going right or at least improving. What is it about placing women in cubicles that turns them into little whining machines? This seems to apply much more prevalently to women than to men. Is it the office culture of America in general or is this just a government thing?
Wednesday, February 11, 2009
Lent- it’s not just about dieting anymore!
Warning: This post is one part religion and two parts squishy, self-indulgent personal revelation expunged in a somewhat inappropriate forum and therefore it has little entertainment value.
This year Lent is especially important to me. I feel that so much of my spiritual evolution recently has been (necessarily) receiving based. My quest became more imminent and earnest when I felt that there was something I needed from my life and existence that was not being provided. Seeking this missing piece, I have returned to the church and found a comforting yet overwhelming array of options to sift through, sort out, make sense of, and decide upon their usefulness to me personally. This task has been gratifying and frightening. I have spent much time and effort internally debating the place of acceptance and the place of inquiry. I do not want to teach myself to accept those things which I do not believe but I do feel a need to accept my belief in some things which I do not understand. That can be a fuzzy line to find and a difficult one to follow. The task requires much personal searching. It requires both internal and external guidance and assistance.
But as we are approaching the season of Lent, I am reminded that repairing my relationship with God and rediscovering my spiritual self is, quite counter-intuitively, not all about me. Any healthy relationship requires a give ant take. I have been needing to take much more than I have been able to give recently.
Considering the nature and symbolism of sacrifice is not an activity I have been accustomed to. I have viewed sacrifice as the greater counterpart of inconvenience; a thing I was willing to endure for people and beliefs only when necessary. And for my sacrifices I expected appreciation or even in kind repayment. But I am beginning to reconsider these assumptions.
What if those calls to sacrifice are not simply grand inconveniences? What if the sacrifices I make are, in fact, the balance for the gifts I receive? Maybe not on a person to person basis, but between the whole of me and the whole of my world. Then aren’t those things that I give up, sort of like a gift to myself in that the very act of sacrifice creates balance in my life? Then my greater task becomes not answering calls to give of my time and efforts. Rather, it becomes to discern where imbalance exists in my life and whether that imbalance must be rectified through giving or through receiving.
Sigh. Are you still there? I have not annoyed you or bored you enough to drive you all away yet? In that case I will get back to why this makes Lent so important to me this year. Some of my family and friend will remember that I have historically used lent as a way to break bad habits or give my diet an extra boost. I have given up things like coffee or eating out. I still think these are very valid things to sacrifice but this year I want to focus more on my actions than on my denial of desires. This year my plan is to give up those things witch I have a tendency to want in excess. This mean there will be more things I abstain from and they will be broader categories. I will be giving up my favorite category of each of the four calorie types. For protein I will give up meat. For fat I will give up cheese. For carbohydrates I will give up sweets. And finally, for alcohol I will give up . . . well, alcohol. I will also give up shopping for fun. I will still need to buy food and perhaps some other necessary items but I will not allow myself to spend time focusing on my potential consumerism. I will not browse in stores or troll the internet for deals or even check the free page on craigslist. In addition I plan to highlight my new perspective on sacrifice as a balancing factor in my life by giving myself something that I need but am usually to lazy to make a priority. I will be making myself get out of bed an hour earlier to go to the Adult Education classes at church on Sundays which will actually be very fitting since this gift to myself will be occurring on Sundays during Lent and those are the days meant to focus not on sacrifice and resistance of temptation but on the celebration of our ability to achieve those things.
My hope is that by writing all this out and posting it here, I will be better able to hold myself accountable. I will try to let you know how it goes.
This year Lent is especially important to me. I feel that so much of my spiritual evolution recently has been (necessarily) receiving based. My quest became more imminent and earnest when I felt that there was something I needed from my life and existence that was not being provided. Seeking this missing piece, I have returned to the church and found a comforting yet overwhelming array of options to sift through, sort out, make sense of, and decide upon their usefulness to me personally. This task has been gratifying and frightening. I have spent much time and effort internally debating the place of acceptance and the place of inquiry. I do not want to teach myself to accept those things which I do not believe but I do feel a need to accept my belief in some things which I do not understand. That can be a fuzzy line to find and a difficult one to follow. The task requires much personal searching. It requires both internal and external guidance and assistance.
But as we are approaching the season of Lent, I am reminded that repairing my relationship with God and rediscovering my spiritual self is, quite counter-intuitively, not all about me. Any healthy relationship requires a give ant take. I have been needing to take much more than I have been able to give recently.
Considering the nature and symbolism of sacrifice is not an activity I have been accustomed to. I have viewed sacrifice as the greater counterpart of inconvenience; a thing I was willing to endure for people and beliefs only when necessary. And for my sacrifices I expected appreciation or even in kind repayment. But I am beginning to reconsider these assumptions.
What if those calls to sacrifice are not simply grand inconveniences? What if the sacrifices I make are, in fact, the balance for the gifts I receive? Maybe not on a person to person basis, but between the whole of me and the whole of my world. Then aren’t those things that I give up, sort of like a gift to myself in that the very act of sacrifice creates balance in my life? Then my greater task becomes not answering calls to give of my time and efforts. Rather, it becomes to discern where imbalance exists in my life and whether that imbalance must be rectified through giving or through receiving.
Sigh. Are you still there? I have not annoyed you or bored you enough to drive you all away yet? In that case I will get back to why this makes Lent so important to me this year. Some of my family and friend will remember that I have historically used lent as a way to break bad habits or give my diet an extra boost. I have given up things like coffee or eating out. I still think these are very valid things to sacrifice but this year I want to focus more on my actions than on my denial of desires. This year my plan is to give up those things witch I have a tendency to want in excess. This mean there will be more things I abstain from and they will be broader categories. I will be giving up my favorite category of each of the four calorie types. For protein I will give up meat. For fat I will give up cheese. For carbohydrates I will give up sweets. And finally, for alcohol I will give up . . . well, alcohol. I will also give up shopping for fun. I will still need to buy food and perhaps some other necessary items but I will not allow myself to spend time focusing on my potential consumerism. I will not browse in stores or troll the internet for deals or even check the free page on craigslist. In addition I plan to highlight my new perspective on sacrifice as a balancing factor in my life by giving myself something that I need but am usually to lazy to make a priority. I will be making myself get out of bed an hour earlier to go to the Adult Education classes at church on Sundays which will actually be very fitting since this gift to myself will be occurring on Sundays during Lent and those are the days meant to focus not on sacrifice and resistance of temptation but on the celebration of our ability to achieve those things.
My hope is that by writing all this out and posting it here, I will be better able to hold myself accountable. I will try to let you know how it goes.
Tuesday, February 10, 2009
Home Sweet Home
So here is my lovely minty kitchen. Not everyone (Mama) is a fan of the color but I actually really like it. I think that the pan racks and the kitchen cart are a big improvement and if I hang onto the stove long enough, maybe it will qualify as vintage someday!
Big kitchen window looking out onto the patio.
Here is the view from the hallway in the back of the house through the dinning room to the living room.
My favorite room in the house! I have added a salon style grouping of framed photographs on the back wall. I will have to post pictures of that soon but it is not quite done yet.
The entrance to our humble abode.
The North side of the living room.
My reading corner. I got a sweet deal on the comfy chair and the crazy hanging lamp came with the house. I think that Josh not-so-secretly hates it but he let me keep it. Either because he loves me and wants to indulge me or because he wants something to hold over my head. I guess we will find out which next time he wants something.
Our living room is coming together. I originally wanted to put a mirror above the fireplace as is traditional in house of this age. I even have the mirror but I hung the artwork there instead. We have too much artwork to be wasting prime wall space on mirrors.
Here is our very large TV. It is much larger than any other TV I have ever had. I have to admit, I am starting to like it.
Our guest room is finally ready. It is another of my favorite spots to read. Its nice and sunny with one window overlooking the patio and the other looking out onto the beginnings of our vegetable garden.
The guest room is also the music room with a real home for my keyboard and Josh's guitars.
And of course, a bed.
So that's the progress on the house for now. Soon (and by soon I mean before next Christmas) I will have some pictures of our bedroom, the office, and the yard. Maybe by refusing to post pictures in a timely fashion I can encourage you all to come see the house in person? Its worth a shot.
Big kitchen window looking out onto the patio.
Here is the view from the hallway in the back of the house through the dinning room to the living room.
My favorite room in the house! I have added a salon style grouping of framed photographs on the back wall. I will have to post pictures of that soon but it is not quite done yet.
The entrance to our humble abode.
The North side of the living room.
My reading corner. I got a sweet deal on the comfy chair and the crazy hanging lamp came with the house. I think that Josh not-so-secretly hates it but he let me keep it. Either because he loves me and wants to indulge me or because he wants something to hold over my head. I guess we will find out which next time he wants something.
Our living room is coming together. I originally wanted to put a mirror above the fireplace as is traditional in house of this age. I even have the mirror but I hung the artwork there instead. We have too much artwork to be wasting prime wall space on mirrors.
Here is our very large TV. It is much larger than any other TV I have ever had. I have to admit, I am starting to like it.
Our guest room is finally ready. It is another of my favorite spots to read. Its nice and sunny with one window overlooking the patio and the other looking out onto the beginnings of our vegetable garden.
The guest room is also the music room with a real home for my keyboard and Josh's guitars.
And of course, a bed.
So that's the progress on the house for now. Soon (and by soon I mean before next Christmas) I will have some pictures of our bedroom, the office, and the yard. Maybe by refusing to post pictures in a timely fashion I can encourage you all to come see the house in person? Its worth a shot.
Wednesday, February 04, 2009
Bitching and Moaning (but not the fun kind of moaning)
Today my head hurts because my hair is too greasy to wear it down and so I have it in a ponytail. Am I the only person in the world who consistently gets headaches from ponytails?
I also might be developing a tension headache because I have never had to pay state income taxes before and the shock is painful. Additionally, our Jeep is broken and the price tag for the repairs is enough to make us consider other options. The consideration of multiple options, all of which are less than ideal, has a tendency to incite headaches.
Plus, I have driven a car for 4 of the 10 hours I have been awake today and I still have another hour and some on the commute home. Sigh.
This is one of those very “blah” kinds of days. In general, I feel like life is great and things are moving along but today . . . Well today is just plain lame.
Also, I promised a friend I would help her paint her bathroom tonight. Also, I did not get a lunch break today. Also, while I was eating a yogurt for lunch at my desk, I bit the inside of my cheek. I will repeat that for you so it sinks in.
While I was eating a YOGURT for lunch at my desk, I BIT the inside of my cheek.
Do you understand how ridiculous that is? No one even chews yogurt! W.T.F. man!
I also might be developing a tension headache because I have never had to pay state income taxes before and the shock is painful. Additionally, our Jeep is broken and the price tag for the repairs is enough to make us consider other options. The consideration of multiple options, all of which are less than ideal, has a tendency to incite headaches.
Plus, I have driven a car for 4 of the 10 hours I have been awake today and I still have another hour and some on the commute home. Sigh.
This is one of those very “blah” kinds of days. In general, I feel like life is great and things are moving along but today . . . Well today is just plain lame.
Also, I promised a friend I would help her paint her bathroom tonight. Also, I did not get a lunch break today. Also, while I was eating a yogurt for lunch at my desk, I bit the inside of my cheek. I will repeat that for you so it sinks in.
While I was eating a YOGURT for lunch at my desk, I BIT the inside of my cheek.
Do you understand how ridiculous that is? No one even chews yogurt! W.T.F. man!
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