It is for your own good

This morning I realized that the “granola bar” I had for breakfast has about the same nutritional value as a doughnut. This “Nature Valley” product has a single redeeming quality in that it has ONE gram of fiber. Great, one gram that will help my digestive system about as much as a three year old with a broom will help you clean. About 5.3 seconds after finishing this healthy breakfast my blood sugar crashed in a big “fiery ball of death” style accident that left me whimpering and muttering at my desk. All of this pain and suffering for a ½ stale granola bar!?! You can rest assured that tomorrow I will rent a truck and hire an army of male midgets dressed as intimidating looking . . . um. . . . something’s to hurl the rest of this box of granola bars at innocent people on the street. I will do this as a public service because after you get hit in the head with a yogurt covered granola bar that was hurled at you by a small and disproportionate man you will not want to eat that granola bar.