Don't call me, I'll call you.

Funny story, This last December I went to the land of all things good and worthwhile also known as Whistler, British Columbia. While I was there I got to ski on great runs, and drink in the winter wonder-land of Whistler Village, and eat amazing food and the whole time I was there I was in heaven. But once I got home I realized that Instead of taking a bit of heaven home with me, I had left an important piece of home up in heaven. Yes, ladies and gentlemen, my only phone charger to my only phone was abandoned in a condo above the Domino’s Pizza in Whistler Village.
I would imagine that a normal person’s reaction to this unfortunate but not tragic event would be to buy a new phone charger. But as we all know, I am more of a person of the “Wildly Neurotic Procrastinator” category and therefore I decided I would decide what to do latter. It is now 6 months later and I do not have a phone charger. “Crazy!” You say. “That is insane” well no. I will not plead insanity instead I am blaming my surroundings and upbringing and perhaps society in general and here is why.
First of all, my old roommate had the same type of phone and I just used her charger while I was at home. True, this once resulted in my walking into her room at an unfortunate moment but I believe her and her boyfriend have since forgiven me seeing as how we have an unspoken pact to never, ever mention the incident. . . ever. In my defense, I could have sworn she was not home.
Aside from that one time, the system worked pretty well. It was augmented by the fact that my boyfriend also had the same type of phone and I could use his charger whenever I stayed at his house.
In addition, my parents both have the same type of phone and they kept on charger at their house and one at their store.
Yes, we are part of a phone cult and no, you cannot join.
So to recap, I had on charger at home, one in the north end at my parents, one on the west side at their store, one in the far south at my boyfriend’s and who in their right mind even goes to the East side anyway? Basically, I still had more phone chargers than most people. Then something terrible happened, actually 2 things.
First my Dad took his charger out of the store and across the country to New York. Much like mine, it never was heard from again. This effectively cut out both my North and West access to phone service because now my parents were sharing a single charger and at least one of them needed it all the time. I could have taken this. I used those connections less than the others anyway. What I could not take was exactly what happened next. My roommate moved out and took her phone charger with her.
Now every few days my phone dies. It is usually on a Friday or some other time I need to get a hold of people. My life is pretty much ruined. I have to have inappropriate conversations on my work phone. I have to make plans more that 10 min ahead of time. It is rough.
So you might be thinking “why don’t you buy a phone charger now?” and then it would be my turn to call you insane. You see phone chargers cost over $30.00 and while that is a perfectly acceptable price for things you do not need like dinner out, or Starbucks for a week, or perfume, earrings, shoes, or tanning sessions, that is way too much money for something that no one will be impressed to find out I own.
“Dude, did you see that chick’s phone charger?”
“Yeah, that was sweet.”
No, I don’t think so. Besides Boyfriends father, who does things in quadruple time (it takes him quadruple the time it takes anyone else to get something done) said he would put Boyfriend on his phone plan. When this happens, (projected completion date 2009) Boyfriend will get a new phone and I will get his old charger. At that point there will be about 3.52 seconds left on my phone plan until I get a new phone. See, my timing is impeccable.