Friday, May 19, 2006

Lift with caution, this ones heavy.

So apparently I have missed my calling as a Rally Car Driver. I had a feeling that my intense love of Subarus and off-roading were being underutilized but now I know for sure.
My mother sent me a “find your ideal job” e-mail forward type thingy and all you do is input your name and hit enter. Then it will tell you what your Ideal job would be. I was excited to know, despite all evidence to the contrary, I am SUPPOSED to be good at driving a vehicle.
Then I found out that my cousin gets to be God.

All of this got me thinking about the big things like fate and existence and that episode of Gilmore Girls where Emily serves pudding at Friday night Dinner. I mean, is it all that random? Are we all walking around thinking people are taking us into consideration when really they just had a hankering for some chocolaty goodness?
I like to think that things are planned out. That fate has me in his capable hands and I can sit back and enjoy the rollercoaster. I am pretty superstitious. I have good luck charms in my car. I have a little chant I say in my head when I need a favor. I do not believe in luck and I do think what goes around comes around.
I think that people come into your life because you need them as much as they need you. Even if what you need is a hard lesson.
I think that in some small corner of my heart I am a Rally Race Car Driver. I am just not a very good one.
I think that God sees my little rituals and charms and knows that they are my way of connecting with the uncertain. They are my way of giving up control. I need that buffer between me and the will of the big bad universe.
I think that true love is like true belief; there are 2 major components of it and you need them both. First you have to think it, know it in your head, and decide to consciously accept the love as real. Then you have to feel it. You don’t get a choice about that part.
I think that nature brings us closer to the divine.
I think that wine and cheese are the foods of the gods
And I don’t think anyone serves pudding completely by accident.

No comments: