The nightmares have started. Twice now, I have woken up soaked in the type of cold sweat that can only be produced by unadulterated panic. Gasping for air and gagging on the remnants of a dream so sinister it almost stopped my heart. The subject of these dreams? My wedding and all the ways it could go wrong.
So far my dream weddings have included relatives that don’t exist, demands that I get married in a bar (Magoo’s specifically for those of you from T-town), and my Fiancé’s grandmother taking my seat at the alter (I know, Freud would have a field day with that one. In said dream I told her she could stay in my seat as long as she needed to.)
In these dreams my reaction to disaster varies. In one, I am calm through disaster after disaster until I finally break down and demand that my sister make me a Cosmo the size of my head which I then poor down my throat and all over my dress. In another, I freak out almost right away but give up in the end a happily decide to elope. In both dreams I have great shoes. In both dreams a marching band escorts me to the ceremony. In one dream all the guests leave. In the other they critique my actions like Olympic judges.
I am thinking that perhaps I am a bit overwhelmed. Last night I went to a wedding workshop and the lady running it told me to elope. At this point I am not planning a wedding so much as I am fighting war against it. I cannot elope because then the wedding would win. The sad thing is, this is like high stakes Vegas poker; the odds are stacked against me. There is no way to really win because the wedding will either get my money or my sanity or both. All I can hope for now is to not lose big. I gotta get me some lucky boxers and a cute blonde to blow on the dice.
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2 comments:
I'm blonde! Pick me!
Did I tell you I have also dreamed twice about your wedding--in fact, before the proposal actually happened--and that both times, you had a talent show at the reception? At one of them I was supposed to give the toast and I hadn't prepared at all, and I was terrified that I was going to mess up the best day of your life.
T-town, you just let me know the date. I've got some boxer contacts in Vegas. And since, from the looks of it, Vegas will be where Elvis conjoins you two in holy matrimony--I bet they'd be glad to help.
I kid, of course.
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